When Its Not Your Day

Friends, I feel like I have posted so many heavy post in the past week with intense lessons and vulnerability. So today I want to change the pace a little bit and just chat. I was reading a blog post that was so real (like honestly it felt like I was reading a letter from my friend) and light hearted that I was like wow, that was a breath of fresh air.

So here we are.

Life has been pretty crazy and I noticed how self-centered I have become. Like I’ve been having that feeling where you are lacking sleep and don’t take any personal time so everything just seems like a big deal. You know what I mean? Someone looks at you the wrong way and you take it personally. You start questioning anything and everything: Did I do something to her? Did I say something wrong? Is something my fault? I’m a terrible person. It had to be my fault.

Well, today was no exception to that. Only thinking of myself I asked my friend for a favor: to proof read something for me. She asked if she could finish eating first.

*Eye roll* What do you mean I don’t get instant gratification. I’m now annoyed and selfish. She should be helping me now.

She finished proof reading it and saidI don’t like it”

HOW DARE SHE. How dare she say that, even though I told her to be honest and tell me if it wasn’t good. This was all about me and now that she hurt my feelings I get to be mad, right?

I took my computer and walked away. I was done. I didn’t get my way so I was done.

I walked to class in silence and then immediately was like

“what the heck is wrong with me. It wasn’t even a big deal. I’m not even mad.”

here is someone who has done nothing but helped me, loved me, and given back to me. Why am I being like this? So I obviously apologized immediately; hoping that she isn’t upset with me (even though she honestly has to right to be).Which brings me to this very moment and the very reason I decided to write this post.

It had me thinking that when we lack self-care; when we overwork ourselves, when we lack sleep and don’t take time for ourselves; our problems are projected on to everyone else. We don’t take responsibility for our actions, or at least not in the moment. We don’t realize how self-centered we are being.

So…you may be wondering why I just rambled on about my day and my weaknesses. And to be completely honest I’m not sure why. Except for the fact that I had a lot on my heart.

I guess the moral of the story is take time today for yourself. Catch up on sleep, read a book, have some time of silence because you deserve it.

Watch your words and actions towards others. Words and actions hurt (especially if you are me and are the queen of the eye roll).

Friends, love others as you love yourself.

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