I woke up to the dreaded sound of my alarm filling the room. I rolled over, turned off my alarm, and opened Facebook to yet ANOTHER engagement photo.
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IS THE ENTIRE WORLD GETTING ENGAGED?!” I yelled to myself.
I know I should have been happy to see this, but my heart hurt–a combination of jealousy and loneliness. I was just being selfish but I couldn’t help it.
I walk out to the kitchen. GREAT! Just what I need: my friends are sitting talking about their boyfriends. I walk by and give the side eye, because if I’m miserable everyone around me should be miserable too, right?
“Why is everyone engaged? Or at least dating someone? What’s wrong with me? Do guys even know I exist? Do I need to change something? Am I doing something wrong?”
I walked out of the house about to start a vicious attack on myself: I’ll lose 20 pounds, buy new clothes, whatever it takes.
I grumpily get in the car and take a deep breath. “You’re the Only One” by Chris Renzema comes on, and at this point, steam was coming out of my ears.
You’re the only one who fills me up.
Though the earth may try to satisfy my heart.
“REALLY JESUS? Okay! I hear you. I see what you’re doing here.”
I let my guard down. I let my anger slip away. I let the words really speak to me. Have I been letting the Earth satisfy my heart? Who and what have I let fill my heart?
Then Jesus so gently whispered: “There is always a guy pursuing your heart, and it’s me.”
Okay, so you are probably like that is nice. You rambled on and on to tell me one short sentence and still no Earthly man is pursing you. And in short, yes that is true.
But here is what I have to say. You’re worth is not defined by your relationship status or the clothes you wear or the number on the scale. You do not need to change. No matter who you are, where you are in life, how old you are, young you are. There is one thing we all have in common: our hearts are forever and always loved and pursued by the God who created us. This is the relationship the fills our hearts to the point of overflowing. This is the kind of love that makes our heart complete. He is a rock that will not be shaken. This is the relationship that I hope to be the very center of all my Earthly relationships. We are never alone. We are never rejected and unloved. On top of all that he gives us SO MANY people on this earth who love us and are after our hearts.
I hope that you can allow that perfect love to fill your heart in all the times of loneliness and doubt. Because I know when I let it flood my heart my entire perspective on being single changed for the better.
Remember: You are all together beautiful, there is no flaw in you.